Our Story

Once upon a time I felt like a perfect mother with my perfectly wonderful little family. I had a beautiful daughter with blonde curly hair and the sweetest nature, she was well behaved, smiley and as cute as a button.

Then along came my handsome boy with equally awesome hair, it grew into a perfect curly mohawk just as if I’d had it cut that way. He was a mummy’s boy right away and totally refused to sleep alone, which I secretly enjoyed. He was cuddly and loving and kind with a little bit of mischief and huge amount of energy.

I took being a Mum very seriously indeed and was lucky enough to be able to do it full time. My days were filled with baby yoga, baby music, baby ballet and baby swim classes. There were endless coffee mornings and lovely walks in the park, trips to farms and soft play centres or just playing together at home.

I devoted all my time and energy into being the best mum I could be, and I loved it.

Life was brilliant, I had happy healthy kids, lots of lovely mummy friends and nothing at all to worry about.

Then one day in 2015, my innocent little six-year-old boy told me he wanted to kill himself.

This was the very start of a journey that would change everything, but most of all it changed me. I was no longer happy and carefree. I was questioning every part of my role as a mother. How could my child want to kill himself?

He was unconditionally loved, nurtured and cared for. He’d had as much attention as anyone could have possibly given, a good school, a happy home. I was there for almost every moment of his life so how could I have missed this? Why didn’t I see it coming?

Overnight I went from happy mum to scared mum, I needed help, I needed to understand what had happened. I thought he must be depressed but couldn’t for the life of me work out how or why.

This is when the word autistic was first mentioned to me. “I think he might be autistic. You need to make an appointment with your GP for a referral” were the exact words.

I was shocked and dumbfounded. How did we go from suicidal to autistic? Surely if he was autistic, I would have realised something was different by now? I knew some autistic kids and I didn’t see similarities with my son.

He was sociable, he was meeting all his age-related expectations, he was doing well at school. How could he be autistic?

This wasn’t part of the plan. This was not how life was supposed to go. Everything was fine before, I knew how to be that mum. Now I had to become a completely different mum.

I had a lot to learn. Not just about autism but about the education system, the health service and the local authority. About who I could trust and what were the truths. About the woeful lack of funding and support. About how to fight the battles and which ones were important.

About how to be a happy family again.

It’s been a tough journey with a lot of heartache and frustration but the most important lesson I’ve learnt is that I am the one that makes the difference.

If I understand my son. If I fight for my son. If I adapt my parenting. If I help him to understand himself. If I support him through his struggles. I make the difference. I am the mum he needs and the mum I want to be.

We aren’t perfect but we are happy and that’s enough for us.

I started this blog in the hope that sharing my experience will help other parents understand how to make their own extraordinary family happier.

Quicker and with less frustration and more focus.

It’s all the information I wish I’d had from the start but couldn’t find.

I hope you enjoy reading!

Love and hugs,

Nadine

xxx

All content created for and written by myextraordinaryfamily.com is based on my own personal experience as an autism mother, partner and advocate. I am an expert by experience and do not have official qualifications in autism. I live my daily life constantly learning, supporting and advocating for my neurodiverse family and speak from this point of view. Any advice given is purely based on what has worked for me and my extraordinary family and I offer no guarantees that you will have the same results with your unique family.